Soft Masculinity Is The Real Winner Of Love Island USA Season 8

We did it, Joe. America showed up and showed out at the polls and voted correctly. Love Island USA Season 8’s final four couples — Trinity and Bryce, Aniya and Carl, Melanie and Sincere and Zach and Kayda —  all feature Black women. And the winners, Bryce and Trinity, not only have the sweetest friends-to-lovers arc, but they also won while being their non-toxic selves: Trinity, the realest of the real, wasn’t afraid to speak her mind in the villa, while goofy, semi-shy Bryce stayed true to his emotions no matter what. This season’s ending isn’t just a win for #Brinity and women of color — it’s also a win for soft masculinity.

Bryce may not have the biggest muscles in the villa, but he was the most vulnerable of the men, and that’s what won over audiences. Lanky and self-described as a little awkward, Bryce stands in contrast to traditional notions of masculinity, ideas like boys don’t cry and have to be strong and dominant, the leader of the house. Bryce, in contrast, captures the softer, and more powerful, side of masculinity. Just as Trinity did, we fell for him with each tender moment: When he cried in Casa Amor because he missed Trinity so much; when he said he’d “rather just sit up there and f*cking die” if Trinity re-coupled because “it’s a beautiful thing for me to take that risk”; when he nervously yet bravely asked Trinity to be his girlfriend; when he nervously yet bravely told Trinity he loved her.

Bryce is a reminder that men who are a little pathetic about their women are the benchmark — not non-chalance. When impersonating him, his fellow islanders play up how he’s the voice of empathy and understanding. “You just have to be understanding,” says KC pretending to be Bryce, which is not too different than Sincere’s imitation, saying. “You know what I think he’s trying to say…”

And then of course there’s Bryce’s (b)romance with Zach, in which we repeatedly saw the pair giggling and jumping up and down like a pair of school girls. While traditional masculinity posits that men should be detached, unemotional and never, ever anything remotely close to feminine, Zach and Bryce’s bromance isn’t scared to declare their affection for one another, even if it is in gay cosplay. It’s spawned fan edits and montages set to heart emojis galore. 

Bryce isn’t the first Soft Boy but he might just be Soft Boy’s final boss. The term refers to boys who present themselves as sensitive and progressive and maybe even dabbled in wearing feminine clothing. They rose in popularity back when Timothée Chalamet looked French, but then quickly fell out of favor when men seemed to use the aesthetic of femininity as a way to disguise patriarchal thinking. (Think: Gal, who led with jokes and his quirky barista mustache only to manipulate Jen, or Curtis in Love Island UK Season 5 who played the role of a Nice Guy only to start boobgate) Refreshingly, Bryce’s softer side was never a gimmick to woo Trinity over only to switch up. He’s just a real yearner.

He isn’t alone, either. Carl is a buff, knight in shining armor who, as Zach described, immediately “looks so wholesome.” He’s the kind of guy who catches and releases flies with arms outstretched like Snow White. Carl gets emotional not just for himself but for others, like when KC came back from Casa Amor with Titi, leaving Aniya single and vulnerable. He recites Japanese proverbs and constantly doles out compliments. He’s basically out of a fairytale (perhaps why the show gives him and Aniya a princess-themed date.) It’s no wonder he and Aniya came second place in the season. Like Bryce, Carl’s softer masculinity is his winning super power.

It’s notable that both first and second place men on the show won over the crowd by being kind and in touch with their emotions when the cast this year was particularly plagued by toxic masculinity. Many have criticized the show’s islanders as parroting manosphere ideas.  The other men in the final four, Sincere and Zach, have less than clean track records. Sincere’s list of lies and disregard for women’s feelings could fill its own book, while Zach’s actions read as too scared to be real about his feelings at best and deceitfully playing up his feelings for Kayda at worse. His lack of honesty about exploring Alannah during Casa Amor and his weird jokes about loving Kayda and wanting to explore new bombshells after intimate moments raise some warning flags. It certainly doesn’t help that he “almost” loves Kayda and yet can’t make their relationship official. The Boy Math doesn’t add up (hence why he’s in fourth place).

Even more sinister were the actions of previous islanders. Corbin objectified the women, comparing the villa girls to high school girls and the Casa Amor girls as college girls and joking about throwing Kenzie out the window when he had a new bombshell in front of him. KC’s actions were no better, punishing and belittling Aniya for not being physical, demeaning her in front of the other men and believing that Titi had to earn the right to be his girlfriend. The belief that men are owed sexual intimacy and that women should prove their worth to men feels straight out of Andrew Tate’s mouth. As toxic masculinity becomes popular with the rise of red-pill and incel rhetoric, it also started saturating the villa.

While KC’s and Corbin’s actions are certainly not excused, it is important to note that, for men of color, notions of masculinity are more complex. Society often depicts Black men as hyper-masculine and in traditional spaces, straying from this can often result in censure. Appearing strong is both a matter of self-defence and even life or death as Black men face a constant risk of police brutality. In contrast, Bryce and Carl (who is half white and half Chinese) can more easily be soft and are given the space to do so. It would be nice if both Black men and women could say the same. Time and again, we witness Black women on the show have to stay strong or hold in their anger for fear of being the Angry Black Woman stereotype, a harmful caricature that makes Black women out to be aggressive. When Aniya hears KC’s suite of disrespectful comments about her during movie night, the boys don’t give her space to be hurt and soft — they come for her about double standards since she explored Carl. Audience reactions have equally been unfair to Aniya. Whether by asking for reassurance early on from KC or standing up to him, Aniya has drawn a disproportionate amount of criticism, particularly from within the Black community.

Everyone deserves the right to be soft, especially when patriarchal thinking indoctrinates everyone, even women, into thinking certain demographics shouldn’t be. In a society that admires and rewards men for being “manly,” stoic and hypersexual, capital “M” Masculine Men become romanticized. Women are taught to want this type of man, too. When Trinity came onto the show, she didn’t picture herself with someone like Bryce. She wanted “​​someone who works in a warehouse,” saying  “I don’t like a man with soft hands. Why are your hands soft?” At first, Bryce’s more “feminine” traits (in the eyes of the patriarchy, anyway) were an ick. (Eating avocado toast? How unmanly!) But overtime, his ability to hold real conversations with her, to discuss the nuances of race when being in an interracial relationship and express and stay true to his real feelings made her fall for him as more than a friend. Part of what makes their win and love story so noteworthy is the way this softer masculinity cuts through the conditioning of traditional gender norms.

With all these regressive, gendered ideas in the air, it’s downright hopeful that a different type of masculinity won in the end. Is it the start of something new? Heated Rivalry proved an appetite for showing new sides to the stereotypical jock. Off Campus’s love interest got a much less misogynistic TV adaption. Even the Knicks couldn’t escape fan edits making players seem cute or, as they say online, “aegyo.” 

Hopefully, the winners of Love Island inspire more men to show their softer side. Fellas, it’s time to get out of the gym and into your feelings.

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