Paige DeSorbo On Dating Icks & Why It’s Never OK To Use AI To Flirt

We can all agree that dating is tough these days, and if you are like us, you wish you had someone to call when you simply cannot take it anymore. This is where former Summer House star, podcaster, and fashion designer Paige DeSorbo  and Bumble come in. They have teamed up to bring us Bee Line, a new social-first series where trusted voices answer real dating questions from Gen Z and Millennial daters. As one of the series hosts, Desorbo is ready to chime in with wisdom to keep us on track and looking for love. We caught up with DeSorbo to talk about dating do’s and don’ts and why dating apps aren’t so scary. 

Refinery29: In your Bee Line episode, you answered a question about using AI to create a dating profile. What are your thoughts on using ChatGPT to write your texts once you’ve matched with somebody? Is it a dating hack or an ick?

PD: That is so scary and terrifying. I saw a thing the other day that was like, “Kids will never know that we wrote an entire 10-page paper at 1:00 AM without having read the book,” which I just feel like builds character. If you can’t think of your own text messages. And calling your friend is much different than asking a robot. If you’re asking a robot, I need you to seek therapy. I think that’s crazy. I don’t like it. 

Apparently, it’s a trend.

PD: I don’t like that because how do you know someone’s humor? You know? And then when you get in real life, you can’t ask the computer! So no, I don’t like that at all. [laughs]

My boss was extremely confused about the idea of a FaceTime date. She was like, “This is what people are doing?” So, a FaceTime date before an actual first date. Is that a good idea or a bad idea?

PD: I kind of love that. I love a cold call. I love that we met, we know we’re going out, we have the date set, but you cold called me randomly, and if it’s FaceTime, I like that. I feel like some of the best dates I’ve gone out on, I’ve FaceTimed before. So. I’m a fan.

What do you think are the components for a good FaceTime date?

PD: I think come as you are. Whatever time of night or day that you set up the FaceTime, I think what you would normally be wearing. Say you’re doing it at 5:00, and you’re in a workout outfit, that’s really cute. If you’re doing it at 8:00 and you’re in pajamas, adorable. That feels more authentic to me. Whatever you would’ve been doing at that time, I feel like that’s how you show up.

Bumble says people are dating more intentionally now. Do you think people actually know what they want if they’re dating intentionally, or are they just getting better at knowing what they don’t want?

PD: I think probably a combination of both. I feel like dating in general is gathering information and deciding what you like and what you don’t like. To know what you like, you also have to know what you dislike. I do think that people are dating more intentionally now, specifically women. But I feel like women have always dated intentionally.

What does it mean to be exclusive?

PD: Look, I’m 33, so I look at things differently now, obviously, than when I was in my 20s. When I was in my 20s, did someone at some point say, “Hey, we’re exclusive, but we’re not dating.” And I was like, “I love it,” like amazing? Absolutely. I do think that’s what your 20s are for, to make these mistakes. I feel like sometimes Gen Z’s a little nervous to make mistakes. Now at 33, if someone told me we were exclusive, I would be like, “I don’t know what that means.” We’re either together, or we’re not. But if I’m 22 years old, I think it is sort of a rite of passage to have a situationship. It helps you figure out what you like and what you don’t like. But after a certain age, you have to set boundaries. No one’s telling me we’re exclusive at 33. That would be insane.

Are dating apps making us pickier or helping us stop wasting time?

PD: I think dating apps definitely help you stop wasting time because you can get to the nitty-gritty immediately. If I see someone on a dating profile and all their pictures are outdoors, we’re probably not going to be the best match. I’d like to know now rather than wasting your time and mine. And no one’s setting us up in real life if you just came back from a hike, ’cause my friends know that I’m not partaking.

So best advice for getting back into dating after you’ve been in a long relationship. I feel like the apps can be scary sometimes to go back on there.

PD: I feel like the apps are only as scary as you make them. You can’t put all your energy into one specific thing. I think going on the apps is a great way to ease into it, because you’re still in the comfort of your bed, and nothing bad can happen when you’re in your bed. I don’t feel like they’re as scary as some people say. My best remedy will always and forever be having a girls’ night out. Any time I’ve become single, the first thing I’ve done is go out with my girlfriends, ’cause it reminds you how much fun it is to be socializing. Going out with a guy first, it’s a lot of pressure. I think going on dating apps, even if you don’t go on any of the dates, is a good way to ease into it.

If you go on the first date, do you think chemistry needs to be instant, or can it build if there’s no fireworks on date one?

PD: I’m not a builder. I don’t have time. I don’t have time for you to maybe think I’m amazing. In the first 10 seconds or nothing. I’ve never been a slow-burn person. I’m pretty all in. I’m very decisive, and so if someone’s not decisive, that’s a turn-off for me. Be obsessed with me or die.

I’m going to need to write that one down. Be obsessed with me or die.

PD: Get away!

Let’s end on a quick rapid fire game: ick or no ick? They wear a baseball hat to your first date.

PD: Ick, no. This isn’t a baseball game.

They try to hold your hand.

PD: Not an ick. I think affection is nice.

Says “females” instead of “women.”

PD: Ick. Unless you’re talking about a doctor or a medical situation, do not say female to me.

The first date was longer than three hours.

PD: Not an ick, because that means you’re having a good time.

Asking what your attachment style is.

PD: Unless they’re a therapist, not an ick. But that’s very situational. If some random guy was just like, “What’s your attachment style?” I don’t know if I would love it, but also if we were having a conversation about it, maybe that would be nice. Enlighten me a little. What do you think it is?

Orders a martini in a rocks glass because martini glasses are too feminine

PD: Okay, if he said that they’re too feminine, that would be an ick, but initially not an ick because I’ve done that as well because I spill it all the time. I think it’s easier to hold and drink in a regular glass. So that’s not an ick for me.

They are holding a fish in their dating profile picture.

PD: Not an ick; we’re just not compatible.

If they send you a five-minute voice note.

PD: No, I like that. It shows he has a personality, and he can put a sentence together for five minutes. We’ll take it where we can get it.

The classic one: they message you every day but won’t make plans.

PD: Ick. Yeah. I don’t need a pen pal.

No pen pals 2026, that’s my motto.

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